Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Tears and Tantrums

We’ve had a few days full of tears tantrums and sulking, and that’s just been from me!

I won’t lie, it’s been a bit, OK a HUGE, blow to be told I can’t drive for the next 6 MONTHS! You may remember from my previous post I live in the middle of nowhere. I'm struggling to come to terms with not driving, because quite frankly, I don’t want to. I feel fine; there is nothing wrong with me, so why is my freedom being taken away like this.

Yesterday is the lowest I've been for a long time. You see, I did too much on Monday, we went house hunting, shopping and had fun with the girls. It may seem like a normal amount for most people and at the time I thought it was fine, but yesterday was a testament to how not fine it was!

I spent most of yesterday on the sofa because I had no energy, I could barely function. Even walking up stairs was too much. I was thankful the monster decided to take a 3 hour nap! The monkey also had a sleepy day but, when she was awake she was crying non-stop, and I just didn't know what was wrong. When the monster woke from her nap she was full of energy and although was happy enough watching Cbeebies she really wanted to get out of the house run around and play.

Usually on days like these I plan the next day, we could go to Tesco and buy some bits and pieces to do some cooking/painting/playdoh if it’s raining or if it’s sunny have a picnic at the park. Planning what fun we can have on the good days gets me through the bad.

Not being able to drive and not having much in the house meant I couldn’t plan, or rather I didn’t want to. I don’t want to be more organised, I don’t want to face up to this. I like just being able to jump in the car and try a new toddler group or wander round the shops. I hate being told I can’t.

It didn’t help my mood or state of mind seeing anonymous comments on my blog telling me if i did x, y and z I wouldn’t have CFS. Its total rubbish coming from a small minded coward.

Today is a new day, I'm a lot better today, I have more energy, I'm being more positive and trying to look forward to the next 6 months at home with my girls.

I need to be better at ordering things in my weekly shop, not thinking oh I’ll pick that up or send Adam out for that during the week or we don’t really need that this week, when we really do! We have a little area of green in the corner of the housing estate, which is enclosed on 3 sides, by hedges and the prison fencing (!) it wouldn’t be too difficult to keep the monster enclosed. We could take a blanket for the monkey and a ball for the monster.

So what are your coping strategies if you don’t drive? How do you get through the week? How do you deal with being dependant on car drivers?


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