Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Stress

Stress is one of my triggers. Its something I used to thrive on, I loved being under pressure. I was at my best when there was a deadline to meet or something out of the norm happening. Now stress means I get tired, I cant move, I hurt all over, I burst into tears for no reason and I certainly can't produce anything or do anything. All things considered I thought I was coping pretty well today. The girls made it nice and easy on me and for most of the day only one was awake at a time!

Today was the day I was venturing into the unknown. At 5.40 I was meant to be having a CT scan. I say meant to, but because a consultant (not mine I hasten to add) missed some crucial details off the notes, they couldn't do it. So now I sit here reflecting my wasted day. I've been so full of energy this week, so able to do things but because of this one little stressful thing that was meant to be happening this afternoon, I was unable to make use of today. Its probably thrown me back too, so the rest of the week will be like today, aching, tired, and full of tears. I now have to go through all this all over again in a few weeks time, just as I'll be recovering form today. I have no choice, I need the scan.

I don't often say I hate things, but this illness is a condition I well and truly HATE.

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