Sunday, 22 July 2012

Just 2 weeks

Some of my friends’ blogger friends have asked why I've stopped writing so much. It would seem there are some people out there who actually really enjoy reading what I have to say! Up until now, I've been shrugging them off with 'I've been busy' or 'life just gets in the way!' But now things are starting to improve, I feel I should explain.

These last few months, without being able to drive have been, quite honestly, hell on earth, stuck between 4 never changing walls with 2 very demanding little people.

Mentally I haven’t been in a great place, and spiritually have been even worse. Add in my CFS, the girls various coughs and colds as well as allergies and reflux and it would be fair to say I've been struggling. Really struggling.

I've tried arranging things to look forward to in my day and inviting friends to come over so I have a new person to see each day. But due to illness and other factors many cancelled, often at the last minute, leaving me feeling lower than I did in the beginning.

I've not been publishing much because most of what I do write is depressing and tear jerking. There isn’t much I can do to change my situation at the moment, but I am trying.

I have just 2 short weeks until I find out if I will be able to drive again, and these weeks are more agonising than the rest of them have been. I'm constantly second guessing everything I'm feeling, every dizzy spell, every mini black out and every memory lapse wondering if that will stop the Dr's from allowing me to drive. I pray with everything I have that I will be able to, as I'm really not sure how I will cope being told the driving ban is a permanent thing. But understand that I, the girls and other road users have to be kept safe.

So for the next 2 weeks I try hopelessly to remain positive and fill my days with fun things me and the girls can do surrounded by the 4 walls I call my prison home.


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