Saturday, 2 March 2013

Inspiring confidence

Those of you that know me will know I'm not the most confident person in the world. Those of you that don't know me are now probably raising an eye brow and thinking, but you share your life with the world! And you'd be right, but when I write my blog its just me and my computer with very little thought to the people that actually read it.Every now and then I check the stats and think, wow that many people are actually interested in what I say?! But generally I'm not a confident person.

As a child I was a very shy, eye contact and a friendly smile were sometimes just too much and people often just thought I was rude. In actual fact I just had a severe bout of shyness and I still sometimes struggle with it now.

I don't want my girls to be the same, I want them to be happy, confident individuals who can look someone in the eye when talking, smile and say hello to strangers in the street and express their thoughts and feelings with out feeling embarrassed and self conscious.

I thought my monster was doing well in the confidence stakes, she was happy to do a funny dance in the street or sing at the top of her lungs in the supermarket, and I loved seeing how confident she was. We (the husband and I) would always clap, cheer and praise her when she finished a dance or a song to let her know that we were proud of her and it was OK.

But in recent weeks that's changing when she sings its not as loud, when she dances she looks around for me and when she sees me she stops with a nervous giggle. I always praise her and say she's doing a good job and sometimes even join in to encourage her not to be self conscious, but it doesn't seem to be working.

The older she gets the more self aware she gets, although I know that's normal, I'm starting to worry 'shyness' is setting in. I'm worried when she hides behind me when she meets someone for the first time and when she whispers her answers to the person behind the till in the shop. I know she's becoming more self aware and that's a normal part of development, but its still worrying me.

I know she's picking up on my lack of confidence, and I'm working on it, but what am I doing wrong? How do I inspire confidence in my girls.

I really don't want them to be as shy and as self conscious as me, if you have any ideas on how to inspire confidence in children, please share!

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