Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Health Visitors

I'm not keen on health visitors.

In our last area I had one come and visit me till the monkey was 10 months old. She was convinced I was very depressed and struggling with life. She may have been right about the depressed part, but who wouldn't be after what I had just gone through. (For those of you new to the blog, let me give you a quick run down. Difficult pregnancy, traumatic labour, HUGE baby (10lb 9), having a toddler and a newborn, a CFS diagnosis, a baby who was in constant pain and screamed down the house, a seizure resulting in me not being slowed to drive, being 'trapped' in the house (due to living in the middle of nowhere) all topped of with selling our house and moving 80 miles south.) I challenge anyone to name 1 person who would be unaffected by all that happening at the same time.

I guess if I hadn't have been struggling with my mental health I may have seen the positives to her coming round (her and the Homestart volunteer but that's another blog post!) I may, had I have been in a better place, have even looked forward to another adult to talk to during the week. But I just felt judged and criticised. I wasn't doing enough, the girls weren't being looked after well enough and I wasn't a good enough person or mother. 

Despite knowing all of that was the depression talking, I'm still sat here worrying. I can feel the anxiety building in me as I clock watch, counting down the hours and minutes.

I was hoping to stay away from the health visiting team in this area, just fly under the radar unless I needed them. Unfortunately I didn't count on them phoning me when they received the girls notes. She wanted to do a home visit. All those anxieties from before came flooding back.

So here I am clock watching, waiting for 11.20 when our new health visitor will be visiting. My home is a mess, my children aren't dressed and rather than do something about it I am sat here Blogging.

I really should go and at least get the girls dressed!


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