Saturday, 11 May 2013

You know that feeling?

That sick, nervous, excited, feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? That feeling of, what have I just done? I've made a hugely massive decision and there is no going back! You know that feeling? That's what I've been walking round with since Wednesday!

I think every one of us has goals for life, things they want to achieve before a certain age. When I left school I always intended to go back at some point and do a degree, I figured it would be something I would do 'one day' probably before I turn 30. Because that's really old, right?

Many many months ago, while we were still living in Evesham, the husband and I sat down and started discussing life and the future. We realised there isn't a back up plan. If the husband gets sick or cant work for any reason, although I would be willing and (hopefully) able to go out and work, the career I had, before moving 100 miles to be with the husband and before having children is not really an option now. With no current experience I'd have to start at the bottom on a pathetic, basic wage that wouldn't manage to support a family of 4.

So we made a HUGE decision, we downloaded the Open University course guides, poured over them reading course overviews, deciding which courses I would enjoy and which I really wouldn't. When we had narrowed it down to just a few I looked in more detail at what the course entailed and what I would be studying and what I could do with it in the future, if I wanted or needed to, and we made a decision. I've been thinking about it a lot since then just to make sure I'm not going to change my mind, re looking at course guides and re affirming I'm happy with this decision.

Then on Wednesday the process was complete, I'd finished enrolling and paid for my chosen course. In October I'm officially going to be a student again studying with the Open University. I am so excited and looking forward to starting, but I'm also really nervous. I don't quite know what to expect or if I'm going to be able to manage juggling the girls, the CFS and a part time uni course. I'm not even sure if I remember how to study and I know there will be many times over the next 6 years when I want to give up and walk away, but I'm always up for a challenge.

I'm really hoping this nervous feeling goes away soon its not a feeling I want to carry around till October!

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