Wednesday, 26 June 2013


Have you ever noticed miscarriage is not a word people use very often, people frequently refer to 'loosing' a baby and in medical terms an early miscarriage can be referred to as a self abortion, nice right? But very rarely you will hear people actually use the word miscarriage. I've always thought 'lost a baby' was an interesting phrase, 'lost' is exactly how I've felt after each miscarriage, lost and very lonely.

It's one of the last things you should feel. There is a figure thrown around, I've had it quoted at me many many times,  it says 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. That's a lot of miscarriages, a lot of women that have felt what you are feeling, and a lot of women who know how you might be thinking. I've often wondered when the 1 in 4 figure is being thrown around, if miscarriage is so common, why isn't it spoken about more? Why isn't there more support?

Some of you will know, I've been through 6 miscarriages myself. 8 times I have looked at the 2nd line appear on the pregnancy test, felt the instant rush of love, the excitement at welcoming a new baby into the world and the wonder of having something growing inside of you. 6 times I have felt the pain, the sorrow, the grief. 6 times I have cried rivers of tears as I've miscarried my precious babies.

I don't talk about the miscarriages very much, its not exactly a happy or easy subject. 6 is a lot to loose, a lot of guilt to carry, a lot of sorrow and grief to feel and even writing this has been really difficult. A little while ago I was introduced to an amazing charity called Saying Goodbye and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to help promote the amazing work they do, as difficult a subject as this is for me right now, this charity deserves to be spoken about.

The charity was founded by Zoe Clark-Cotes and her husband Andy, their story is here if you want to take a look, and a lot of it I can completely relate to. Saying Goodbye offer remembrance services to women, their partners, children, extended family and friends. The service gives opportunities to remember and say goodbye to your baby, or babies, it doesn't matter if the loss was 2 weeks ago or 20 years ago, all women are welcomed with open arms. Early loss is not often spoken about or acknowledged and the services give the opportunity to stand with people who know the pain you feel, rejoice in your baby's life, remember and formally say goodbye. 

I don't feel able to share my personal story right now, today, but it is something I plan on doing at some point when the pain and grief isn't so raw. I do plan on attending a remembrance service on the 7th December when they will be in Bristol Cathedral. If you would like to find out more about what happens in a service, find one near you or just want to know more about the charity please visit their website

This post is to raise awareness for The Mariposa Trust, the charity behind Saying Goodbye.
Please help raise awareness for the amazing work and brilliant opportunities this charity provides by spreading the word.


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