Friday, 29 November 2013

A safe environment or a dangerous place to be?

With Braxton Hicks kicking in recently and many, many hospital visits and midwife's warning me to take it easy or face bed rest and an early delivery I think its time to explain the why's.

Before you read on its important for me to say, I don't fully understand what's wrong, due to hospital negligence (and that's a whole other post and rant that won't happen!) things were never explained fully after my operation in 2008 and by the time I was in a fit state to ask the right questions, my notes had mysteriously vanished.

I've had 9 pregnancies, and 2.5 children, for the first 12 weeks of Big Girl's pregnancy I was on bed rest and for the first 12 weeks and last 10 weeks of Baby Girl's pregnancy I was told to take it easy/put on bed rest.

I have something called a septate or bi-cornate uterus. This basically means my uterus is the wrong shape. If you were to dissect it (and please don't!) it would look like a heart, kind of ironic really as the top of the heart, the additional wall, is dead. The extra wall is not able to provide oxygen, food or blood to the placenta meaning if the placenta grows over or implants on the wall a miscarriage, premature labour or still birth will occur.

Some people have a slight septated uterus and don't even know it, sometimes its so small it causes no problems or concerns. I wish I was one of those people. Its scary, in fact its more than scary its terrifying. I have no control, no power over what happens. The best I can do is hope, pray and trust in the medical advice given. I've been lucky to carry both my girls to full term and I hope that I can carry this baby to full term too.

This week has been hard, feeling the cramping and tightening's of the Braxton Hicks, knowing its all too early, having an emergency scan and finding out my placenta has moved, not by much millimetres at most, but enough to now be in an 'amber' zone, has been hard. I've been advised to do less and rest more. That's all well and good, but I'm still a mum. A typical day of doing nothing includes, changing nappies, getting the girls dressed, getting myself dressed, setting up activities for them, tidying up after them, making them snacks, lunch and getting drinks. They get bored cooped up in the house watching programmes on CBeebies they can now quote and start destroying things, so I take them out. The kitchen needs tidying so I can make them dinner, getting them ready for bed, lifting and carrying Baby Girl up and down the stairs, being climbed on, kicked, hit and used as a punch bag during tantrums, I put them to bed then return them to bed 100's of times before Adam gets home and takes over. The house work is left to him, but doing the bare minimum when you have 2 toddlers to care for is still a lot.

My uterus is a dangerous place to be, and I pray while I am being a mum and doing the bare minimum, my baby continues to fight, grow and live. Just 4 weeks till the next scan and we pray for better news.

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