Wednesday, 3 September 2014

First day of school

A few months ago you may remember The Husband and I made the decision to Home Educate our Children. It was a hard decision we had to make, but I know it was the right one. However I hadn't actually turned down Big Girls nursery place for September. I pulled her out of her preschool place but hadn't informed the school nursery she was due to attend that, well, she wouldn't be. I guess holding on to the place was like a crutch, if it all went wrong, if I wasn't able to teach her at home, I could still send her there.

Today was the last chance to change my mind, the last chance to do a u-turn on my decision. This morning I woke up feeling sick, the only thought on my mind was 'what if I'm making the wrong decision?' The Husband and I went over and over the reasons we had chosen to Home Educate, the pros, the cons and how we were planning on over coming those. We went over the planning I have painstakingly done and over the work the girls have already done. I knew I was making the right decision... but what if I wasn't? I couldn't shake that sick feeling, so I called my Mum. She went over the pro's and con's, and the things we are planning on doing later in the year, the things we couldn't do if big Girl was at school (my mum is also a Home Educator) she went over the same things The Husband had said and told me it was a decision I had to make, she couldn't make it for me. I put the phone down feeling more sick than ever and then I picked up the phone and did it.

I phoned the school and turned down her placement. It was a spur of the moment action, an action I didn't feel able to take but somehow found the strength to make, and just like that, I didn't feel sick any more. I felt calm, I felt scared, but I knew I'd done the right thing.

Turning your back on social norms is a scary thing to do. I'm told most home educators have wobbles and often they come more than once during your Home Education journey. Society teaches that school is the right place for all children to be and for 90% it probably is, but if you are one of those people that have decided to turn their back on school, say thanks but no thanks, then there is a whole world of judgement awaiting you. Home Education is an exciting, rewarding and enjoyable experience, but it can also be a scary, full on, stressful and full of self doubt experience.

I know I'm making the right decision for my children, but that wont stop me having wobbles every now and then.

Today is the first day of  not going to school for Big Girl and she is so excited at what we have in store, we took some photos to commemorate the occasion and make it feel special.


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